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Attitude and Behavior, Dealing with It.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Today I’m a little frustrated.  We are on our first full day of vacation, we may go to the lake later today but right now we are just hanging around the house.  When we come to Tennessee we stay with my grandparents.  The rest of our family lives 600 miles away from here so there really isn’t anyone to help them with little things that are harder to do as you get older.  If my grandfather wants to work on the house or something he relies on the aid of my grandmother, who will help, but isn’t getting any younger.  So when any of us out of towners come to visit we try to set at least one day aside to helping them on projects that might be easier if they had a few extra hands around.

Today is “project day” my hubs is helping my grandfather with some things and us girls are just kind of hanging around the house.  I don’t know if he was serious or not (I don’t think he was serious) but my grandfather told my youngest step daughter (9) that he was going to have her out helping pick up rocks.  Her reaction was just completely embarrassing.  She might as well have looked at everyone and said “on a cold day in hell”.  When I was her age and even now if you were asked to do something like it or not you just did it.  You didn’t complain, you didn’t question the authority in the matter, you didn’t pout.  You just did it.  Usually when it was over you got a kid pay day or to go out for dinner or ice cream.

Last night my husband told my step-daughter (9) it was time to go to bed.  It was earlier then she wanted to go to bed and she got visibly upset.  She questioned why her older sister didn’t have to go to bed too.  Then she more less demanded a reason why she had to go to bed.  Finally she went in her room.  Then a little while later she came out and asked to call her mom to tell her goodnight.  By her expressions and short answers you could tell her mother was asking her questions and she was answering in a manner to say I’m not having fun and I’m not happy.

My step children live with their mother 95% of the time and their behavior mostly models what they are or are not allowed to do while they are at their mothers home.  My husbands opinion on raising the children is rarely welcome so the behavior expectations tend to be different from their mothers house to mine.  When the children come to my house I can expect certain things from them, but attitude wise things don’t tend to change in a weekend.  I’m not saying their mother is right or wrong in the way she raises the children, but our values are clearly not always the same.

All that said here in lies my dilemma.  I’m really not sure how we are can curb my step daughters attitude in an effective manner?  When you talk to her you feel like she is staring through you getting mad because she thinks she is being scolded or staring at you with about ready to cry because she thinks you are picking on her.  I just want her to understand that there are times in an effort to come together and help one another sometimes we have to do things we do not want too.  Clearly she is still a child  and I want her to have fun and relax and enjoy being a child, but I don’t want her to be disrespectful in the process and think that her behavior and attitude are acceptable forms of communication.

Okay done thinking out loud.

Day 14 of 30…30 Posts in 30 Days

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Wednesday, August 5, 2009 12:40 pm

    Not an easy situation. I don’t think that I have any suggestions for you, except to maybe say (in the situation) you may not treat him/me/your father/my dad in that manner.

    Sorry.

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