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Being a Stay at Home Mom and Ranting

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I’ve recently started reading a book called Miserly Moms-Living Well on Less in a Tough Economy by Jonni McCoy.  To make a long story short in one part of the book she talks about once having a job and then make the decision to be a SAHM and living in a two income neighborhood.  When she really sat down to look at the dollars and cents she realized with all the expenses that come with working like child care, gas etc that she really wasn’t making much money and that staying home wasn’t that ridiculous.

That got me thinking about my being a Stay At Home Mom.  In the beginning of my pregnancy I don’t think I had intentions of giving up my job infact I don’t think I even considered it.  But life pitched some curve balls and I’ve been a SAHM for 6 years.  There are days I’m delighted to not have the expectations of a job and there are other days I miss the adult interaction and that little getting out of the house sanity.

If you pay attention to different articles and tv shows you are bound to hear debate over being a working mom vs. being a stay at home mom.  I personally think to each their own, hopefully each of us can make the best decision about what is or isn’t right for our families.  I also understand that some people don’t have the luxury of deciding for themselves but regardless of your situation what does it really matter what other people are doing?

One thing that does bother me is when I catch crap for being a stay at home mom.  There is a girl I’ve been friends with since junior high and I definitely consider her a best friend but sometimes she makes me feel like I should feel guilty for getting to stay home.  She is a single working parent of one son.  She does receive child support I think it’s around $100 a week give or take a little, I’m not sure if that is good or not and she has really good free insurance for her son.  She has a full-time job and a 2 evening a week part-time job and I admire her devotion.  What I don’t admire is the comments about how it must be nice to stay home or it must be nice to not have to work and still go shopping.  It’s not my fault that our lives took different paths!  It’s not my fault that she chooses to get her hair done or go on little shopping trips and then has to explain to the repo man why she can’t pay her car payment for 2 more weeks.  I deal with dilemmas too and just because I don’t advertise them doesn’t mean they aren’t there.  Anyway my point is that with this particular topic I feel like I’m treated unfairly.

So I think that when it comes to your parenting choices as far is having or not having to work, choosing to work or not to work is your business no one elses but yours.  Just because you may open up to someone about your situation doesn’t mean it’s and open session for critisism.  If you want to talk about it do it in a supportive manner offer up suggestions about your experiences or why something did or didn’t work for you, but don’t belittle someone just because they don’t do it the way you think they should.

Agree or not agree that is your business, but this is what I think.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Tuesday, May 5, 2009 11:28 am

    great thoughts.

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