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Defeated

Monday, April 6, 2009

Did you ever see those photos and clips of Britney Spears with shaved hair one minute and a hot pink wig the next, accompanied with a crazy fake british accent and a desire to shove umbrellas through car windows?  If you haven’t I hope I painted a lovely picture because thats pretty much how I feel right now…not myself.  I am wide awake and heavily tired and I feel like my heart could beat a hole right out of my chest.

Without going into to details because one I don’t want to rehash it all and two the self centered immaturity of it all is kind of embarrassing today was a pretty bad damn day.  There could certainly be worse but I just feel defeated, let down, betrayed, the list really does go on.

In case you haven’t figure it out this all involves another individual and essentially it’s only been 12 hours since the poo hit the fan but I’m not good at being mad, I’m not the kind of person who wants to be mad…but this time I am really having a hard time believing there is a soft spot in my heart.  I laid down earlier to try and go to sleep and aside from very brief praying for my family the only other thing I could get out was “help me lord”.

Anyway sorry really no exciting story here or guidance I just needed to vent I guess.  It seems I always seek shelter in the same building during the eye of the storm and that building has taken a beaten from all those storms so it isn’t as sturdy as it use to be and repairs might be possible but you don’t want to spend the time and effort on repairs if the foundation isn’t sound, make sense metaphorically speaking?!?!?!

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